Because when you sound like everyone else, you might as well be invisible

In 30 minutes, I'll find every word you share with your competitors.

In 30 days, you won't sound like any of them.

"Holy shit, someone finally said it" - Microsoft marketer

"Uncomfortable truth: We needed this" - Former ServiceNow VP

"Like marketing therapy, but it actually works" - Boston Scientific Director

"Thanks so much for the candid feedback" - Swurl Co-founder

"Holy shit, someone finally said it" - Microsoft marketer "Uncomfortable truth: We needed this" - Former ServiceNow VP "Like marketing therapy, but it actually works" - Boston Scientific Director "Thanks so much for the candid feedback" - Swurl Co-founder

The Reality Check:

Your product?
It's solid.

Your team?
They know their shit.

Your marketing?
It sounds like ChatGPT had A FLING WITH A thesaurus.

I know because I've seen it hundreds of times. Hell, I used to write this way for Microsoft until I realized I was just adding to the noise.

Want proof?
Here's what your marketing probably includes:

“End-to-end solutions” (what does that even mean?)

“Industry-leading innovation” (just like everyone else, right?)

“Digital transformation” (drink every time you read this)

“Synergistic approach” (okay, now you're just messing with me)

If you're nodding, keep reading.

If not, this page isn't for you.

Here’s what to do:

Book Your Marketing Autopsy

30 minutes. No bullshit. Just truth.

  1. The Autopsy—I'll show you exactly where your marketing died. This part hurts. Good.

  2. The Resurrection—We'll find what makes you actually different.

  3. The Transformation—We'll turn your marketing from corporate sleepwalk into language that makes people give a shit. Your sales team will use it. Your customers will remember it.

  4. The Revolution—You'll stop sounding like everyone else. Some people will hate it. The right people will love it. That's the whole point.

Why Trust Me?

Because I've done the corporate marketing dance. Wrote the buzzwords. Attended the meetings about the meetings. Died inside a little every time someone said "paradigm shift."

Then I started telling companies the truth about their marketing. Turns out, that's what they actually needed.

The results?

  • Fixed marketing bullshit from startups to Pokémon

  • Generated $17M in revenue by making Microsoft sound human

  • Saved companies like Amazon thousands by killing buzzword-heavy campaigns

  • Made a lot of marketing teams uncomfortable (in a good way)

But more importantly?

I help companies stop wasting money on marketing nobody wants
nor remembers.

not for you?

I'm not for everyone if:

❌ You need a committee to approve changing a comma

❌ You want "best practices" (that's why you sound like everyone else)

❌ You're looking for someone to validate your buzzwords

❌ You're not ready to make some people uncomfortable

Still here?

Either you're brave or desperate.

Both work for me.

“Eric helped me with my technology freelancing services and I’m seeing results right away!”

— Andres Biarge, Owner | BTB Consulting

Marketing autopsy FAQs

  • Mainly tech startups or medium business who suspect their landing page is costing them sales. If you've ever cringed while reading your own copy, this is for you.

  • A brutally honest PDF report showing exactly what's wrong with your landing page. I'll highlight buzzwords, point out where you sound like competitors, and give you specific fixes you can implement yourself. All delivered within 24-48 hours.

  • If I help you fix just one conversion-killing problem, you'll make that money back many times over. Plus, what's the cost of continuing to sound like everyone else?

  • Yep. One page, one price. Want me to look at your entire site? That's a different service. This is focused specifically on the page that's supposed to convert visitors.

  • I'll still find ways to make it better. But if I can't find at least 3 improvements, you get your money back. (Hasn't happened yet.)

  • Nope. The report includes specific recommendations you can implement yourself or give to your team. No strings attached.

  • The autopsy is diagnostic only. But if you want me to do the actual writing afterward, we can talk about that separately.

  • That's cool. You're paying for my honest opinion, not for me to tell you what you want to hear. Take what's useful, leave what isn't.

  • No refunds. And here's why that's fair: You're getting my expertise and a custom action plan for just $100. I'll always deliver what I promise - a brutally honest assessment and specific fixes. But I can't control what you do with that information. Some folks ask for a refund after they've already gotten all my insights... and then implement them anyway. That's not cool. If you're hesitant about the value, check out the testimonials or start with just one page instead of multiple.

  • AI will tell you generic best practices. I'll tell you specifically where your messaging fails, what makes you sound like competitors, and how to fix it based on real human psychology and 20+ years experience in marketing.